Here I sit at 11:00 pm on May 21. In some parts of the world it is already May 22 and Mr. Camping has been proven to be a false prophet. There is irony in this since he has called every pastor or teacher in the established church a false prophet nearly every day for the past several years. Of course, on the outside chance that he was right, I made sure that I spent this Saturday in productive work – work that would be fitting for Judgment Day.
I began the day by meeting a friend for coffee at McDonalds. Yes indeed, any red-blooded capitalist would want to spend his last day on earth at Mickey-D’s. By the way, I hear that McDonald’s is looking to expand into the afterlife. In heaven, every meal will be a Happy Meal. Note: Burger King has the contract wrapped up for the Netherworld. Their “flame-broiled” marketing concept is a natural fit.
After that, I came home and read my email – because I wouldn’t want the world to end with reading about the latest homeopathic remedy for erectile dysfunction.
My wife and I went to a garage sale. I was snookered because she said she wanted to find exercise equipment for her father. Really? The man carries 2 walkers in his car and she’s looking for a BowFlex for him? We found an exercise bike for him and she found various and sundry items for herself. Forget that I took 2 days off work to clean the basement! I guess I was just making room.
Knowing that Judgment Day was scheduled for 6 o’clock, we had time to catch a movie. I grew up reading comic books. I credit Marvel and D.C. comics for developing my mind into the tragic piece of machinery it is. Anyway, I just had to see “Thor.” He was one of my favorite comic book super-heroes. The movie was quite a production. Not even the Apocalypse was going to keep me from seeing this movie. Besides, I got a large soft drink with free refills for only a buck! Judgment Day indeed !
I mowed the lawn. My neighbor pulled out of the drive and asked me about the rapture and Judgment Day. She said, “You have a Baptist background, don’t you? What do you think about this Rapture business?” Oh yeah, you say the phrase “Judgment Day” and you think of Baptist right off the bat for cryin out loud. She said she was a graduate from an Episcopal seminary and, according to her, there was no talk about rapture and millennium and such stuff. But she really wanted know why I was mowing the lawn, if today was the last day. That was a fair question; I really did think about waiting until about 7:00 –ish. But, rapture or not, the lawn needs cut.
By the time I finished the lawn and fired up the grill for dinner, 6:00 had come and gone. I got a text message from one friend and a call from another seeing if I was still here. Are you kidding? You check on the status of the rapture by calling me? I guess they thought that if I was taken, then any loser has a chance. But, I’m still here, my lawn is mowed, and Harold Camping is still in Alameda, California.
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